Mikey: If I don’t clean up my toys before you vacuum will Heavenly Father come and take them away?

Me: (thinking long and hard) No. But Daddy might!

~~~~

Mikey (while in the bathtub): the black stuff isn’t scrubbing off my feet.

Me: Here’s some soap for your wash rag so you can scrub your feet.

Mikey: It’s not working.  I think your black hair is just stuck in my feets and it won’t come off until tomorrow.

Me: I don’t have black hair. I have brown hair.

Mikey: No, the top of your hair looks black to me and then it gets brown.

~~~

Mikey: Look at me, mom!

Me: Stop jumping off the couch please.  That’s a bad choice.

Mikey: Why?

Me: Because I said so and Joshy will try to do it and get hurt.

Mikey: Oh, I will never ever make bad choices again.  And I will never stop eating lasagna either!

{later that day}

Me: Stop please.  That’s a naughty choice.

Mikey: But sometimes I want to make good choices and sometimes I want to make naughty choices in the day.  I just want to do what I want, OKAY!  Is that okay?

lucky for me I can keep my cool through these episodes!